Teachers – Good ones are true Artists.
Whilst preparing wedding dresses for collection, I was listening to a radio discussion about how teachers can have both a positive and negative effect on children, which can stay with them throughout adult life. Lots of very unhappy and traumatised callers were describing how an incident of abuse of power/bullying/thoughtlessness has had a lasting effect on them, and how to this day they would take revenge on the teacher concerned.
It made me think about my own school life, and that of my children. The schools I went to were the usual run of the mill type. Quiet village primary, followed by large noisier secondary school, but still in the sleepy village atmosphere where everyone knew who you were. In primary school I had the misfortune to fall foul of the dreaded dinner lady, who made my life a misery. So much so, that I can still feel my stomach flip and the mention of rice pudding. She would find out what food I didn’t like, and make sure I had double, then shout at me for not eating it all. I have seen her over the years, but I don’t acknowledge her existence. At secondary school I was traumatised by the sewing teacher, who instilled in me a life long fear of needles, and made me realise if I couldn’t buy it already made, it wasn’t worth having. The cookery teacher had the same effect on me. But there were other teachers who would humiliate pupils in such a vicious way, that surely now they would be sacked on the spot. On particular teacher thought nothing of throwing a blackboard rubber, glue pot, or even a desk at any pupil that he thought was unruly. I remember being terrified as the desk in front of me was flung across the room at a particular girl who had answered ‘Sir’ back. He was giving a lesson on how to grow great artichokes at the time, which is probably why I have never ever eaten one. I can’t remember what lessons he taught, there were references to japanese planes, fist fighting for boys who didn’t get on, and I have memories of being behind a wheelbarrow, but what lesson it was, I have no idea. All I remember is he scared me. One teacher was outstanding though, an English teacher who made lessons fun and interesting, and who really took the time to care for the students in his class. Strict but thoughtful, I admired him for taking an interest in his pupils, we all felt as though we mattered.
One of my sons had a tough time at school when he was younger. Being deaf, he suffered at the hands of uncaring and unsympathetic teachers. One made him aged 5 , sit outside the class as punishment for asking for ‘crap paper’. He was actually asking for scrap paper to draw on, but she mistook it as a request for toilet roll.(it showed her low standards I thought). Another threw his hearing aid in the bin, because it was whistling and annoying her, and another let other children scream into his ears, for fun. All these teachers saw a side of me that isn’t pretty. I will defend any child’s right to be treated with respect and dignity. Academic achievement is one thing, but it is not the whole picture. At secondary school one teacher told me to focus on him just getting through school and getting any job he could, probably in a produce factory. Another more fabulous teacher told me that he had amazing potential, and was a definitely good enough for University, something which previously we hadn’t considered. Standing at my son’s Graduation ceremony last year, I thought of her, and how her encouragement may have changed his life, and how I would love for those early doubting/uncaring teachers to see him now. The teacher who encouraged him, Alison, sadly died of cancer a few years ago, before he went to University, but she would have been so proud of the B.A. and M.A and plans for a Ph.D but I know she was standing beside me, watching ‘our boy’ at the Graduation. She cared. A prouder mum there has never been, a greater teacher I have never met. Another son had a tough time on occasions, yet he has excelled in his chosen career in the Royal Navy, and has recently been awarded the Herbert Lott award, for excellence in his field. He will soon be leaving the UK for a new life in Norway, and Nick and I are so proud of the man he has turned into, and I would love the teachers who taught him to see what he has achieved. |A third son is having a really hard time at School at the moment, but I know that he will do well in whatever path he chooses in life. I tell him that whatever happens today, however hard it seems, will soon all be a distant memory, and his life is what he makes it. As long as he loves and is loved and enjoys life to the full, I will consider my role as Mum fulfilled. The truly good teachers remain with us in our thoughts throughout our lives, the bad ones we can consign to the rubbish dump of our minds, and feel sorry for them that they never reached their true potential.
Teachers who humiliate, belittle and bully their pupils should consider another path – good money is to be earned in some quarters in Soho in a more adult orientated industry, which may be more suitable. Teachers who praise, empower and give confidence can make a difference not only to the child’s life here and now, but in the future too. Teaching isn’t a job, it is a profession, and it was heartbreaking to hear stories on the radio from pupils who were let down and betrayed as children, by grown adults who abused the position of trust that they held. It is the same with Priests. Children were told to respect and fear the Priests, they had a position of enormous responsibility. Most were and are wonderful men devoted to the greater good, a few betrayed the trust put in them, and subsequently destroyed the lives of the children in their care. There doesn’t seem to be much accountability – yet. Perhaps the tormentors of the young boys in their care will be held accountable for their actions, for eternity. (I did think the bluesky thinking from the Home Office about the Popes visit was quite amusing. I don’t think the Vatican have a sense of humor though. If I were Pope (delusions of Grandeur for a moment )- I would employ a really good PR agency, and also have a Name and Shame policy!
I firmly believe that encouragement goes a lot farther than humiliation. Kids need rules and boundaries, and they have to know where the line is, so they know if they have crossed it. But teachers and adults need all the facts before jumping to conclusions, and they need to understand that no 2 children are the same. What works with one, may not work with another. It is a good teacher who knows this, and works to find what does work, a poor teacher treats all children the same, a statistic on a sheet of paper, and rules by fear and intimidation. Teachers who make a child’s life a misery, and make no effort to change the situation should not be allowed to teach. Where is the job satisfaction in bullying a child and destroying their spirit? Good teachers are hard to find, and often go unnoticed.
At my youngest son’s school, there is a teacher who excels in everything she does. She encourages and looks deeply into the child, she understands them. She spotted a talent in my youngest, long before we did, and nurtured it and encouraged him. She has been supportive and insightful, and understands that every child is an individual. He is leaving her school this Summer, but I know that her influence on him has been positive and beneficial, and will stand him in good stead for the future. I wish he had had more time with her, and I wish there were more teachers like her, as she wants to get the best out of the children for their own self confidence, not because of targets. The head teacher also has an empathy with the children. I am sure there have been times when they have wanted to strangle us, but neither ladies have (there is still time) and both have always had his best interests at heart. As for Lisa, I value her opinion, her support and her friendship, and for me, she is cut from the same magic cloth as Alison Maxey. Dedicated, caring and professional.
She is also an artist, and a kindred spirit of my boy. She understands that sometimes, art isn’t necessarily a finished product, – it is a work in progress, which may never be completed. A bit like being a mum. Not everyone appreciates art, and one persons perception of one piece may be completely at odds with someone else’s. All art isn’t pleasing on the eye, it can be thought provoking, and even disturbing. But a real artist appreciates more than just the look of a piece of work, but the substance behind it. Not everyone has that ability, and if they teach, they are the poorer for it, and the children in their care can suffer because of it. Lisa does, and that is what makes her a brilliant teacher, and I would like her to know how much of a difference she has made in our lives, and what a positive influence she has been on our ‘last but by no means least’ child.
So thank you Lisa, and Mrs L. You have made a difference, but in a good way, I hope others learn from you, and all the children in your care benefit as much as my youngest two have.
On an unrelated topic – Elections soon. This time next week we could have a change of Government. My house is politically divided. We will be voting for different candidates, but one thing for sure, is neither of us will be voting for the ridiculous BNP candidate. The offensive leaflet was pushed through my door, with Nick Griffin pictured next to Winston Churchill, and the local candidate for North East Cambs coming from Epping Forrest. What is her interest in Fenland? Has she even been here. Either way, her bleating on about being 2nd class citizens compared to the immigrants was stomach turning. Fenland has a strong mix of different cultures, with the Eastern Europeans integrating very well, in my opinion. It is a hard life working on the land, yet they are always courteous and respectful, and always hard working, whatever work they do. And the majority of them would probably know that Winston Churchil was Liberal, (or Conservative, depending on the year!) There is another world war II leader that the BNP could have chosen to stand shoulder to shoulder with on the election leaflets, that has similar views to Mr Griffin – but not as patriotic.
Have a fabulous weekend everyone,
Sue xx