1. Make sure you are marrying the right man.   Even the most wonderful wedding won’t help you get through the rest of your life with the wrong man.  Once that is sorted, you can move on to tip 2.
2. Pick your battles wisely –  everyone wants to get involved in some part of the organisation – work out what you won’t budge on and then you can compromise on the little things which are less important to you.
3. Pick your wedding dress up at least 10 days before the wedding.  Try it on once to make sure it fits perfectly, then put it away and resist the temptation to try it on again.
4. Start wearing  your bridal shoes around the house for a couple of days before the wedding, best to find out if they rub anywhere before the day, so you can be prepared on the day.
5. For a perfect veil, don’t steam it as some retailers suggest – hang it up 48 hours before the wedding.  If the creases haven’t dropped out naturally, give it a quick burst of hot air with your hair dryer.  Perfection!
6. Your dress should be the last item of clothing you put on, even after your shoes.  If you are stepping into your dress, put a covering over your heels and buckle to protect against any catches.    Big pants are perfect as a cheap alternative to shoe covers, but even they can be bought very cheaply. Sounds nuts – but it avoids any last minute rips or tears.  If you are going in from the bottom, put  a soft towel or peg paper towels to the inside to the bodice – to avoid any make up stains on your dress.
7. If anyone is helping you get dressed, especially with lacing up, ask them to make sure they wash their hands.  Many lace-ups have been ruined by make-up stained fingers.  Also rings and watches should be removed as they can often catch on delicate lace.
8. Jewellery should be the very last item you put on – after your perfume and body lotion, and especially after your hairspray.
9. Always have waterproof mascara.
10. Have your maid of honour carry your essential make up  items  and perfume in her handbag for you.  Include plasters and tissues too, just in case.

Top Tips for being the perfect Chief Bridesmaid

The Chief bridesmaid is usually an older sister or other family member or a very  dear friend.  A Maid of Honor is a married Chief Bridesmaid. Either way their role is to help, advise, offer support in choosing the dresses, planning the hen night, and ensuring the whole wedding day is a total success and everyone is happy.   – No pressure then!

1. Make sure you haven’t had previous relationship with the groom that the bride doesn’t know about before you accept – if you have , decline being a bridesmaid.  You don’t want to confuse the groom at the alter.
2. Grow a very thick skin – brides can be brutal in times of stress.  Often things can be said in the heat of the moment which aren’t really meant – so put your sensitive nature in armour plating until after the wedding.
3. Be honest when it comes to choosing your bridesmaid dress.  If you really don’t like it, suggest that it may not be best for you, and you wouldn’t want to spoil the photo’s, but then help find a dress that you do like. (and in budget)  Brides can take a negative opinion, as long as you are prepared to have a positive (realistic) alternative.  If you are paying for the dress you can have more say than if the bride is paying.
4. If you can buy anything yourself, make it the shoes.  that way you can choose a pair that will be in keeping with the dress, ones that you would wear again, and most importantly ones that are comfortable.  Check with the bride first, but as long as you have a colour, and style to work with you should be able to find a brilliant pair, which is better than being made to wear a pair bought for you.
5. Organise a great Hen Night, and involve her family in the fun.  Even if they dont attend, they can contribute with photo’s and stories.  A scrap book of her single days is a great gift.
6. On the day, help get the bride ready if needed, and take charge of the other  bridesmaids.  You will need to carry the tissues, make-up, perfume, deodorant etc., – all of which is a great excuse to ensure you get a fabulous bag to match your shoes.  A great look is a bag with flowers pinned to it – like a corsage.  This way your aren’t carrying both.  Also a wrist corsage is a beautiful alternative to a bouquet.
7. Often photographers will designate the Chief Bridesmaid to help with the brides family, and the best man for the grooms.  So if this is the case, makes sure you know who the important people are who need to be in the photographs.
8. Chief Bridesmaids are also getting more involved in ‘the Speech’.  If it is something you really want to do, suggest it to your bride, or if she asks you and you really aren’t comfortable with the idea, tell her, you will have enough to do on the day without the added extra worry of public speaking.  But if you are happy to do it, go for it, and outshine the best man.  Often women make much better speeches, can tell really funny jokes and make touching gestures, and get a better response from the guests as a woman delivering a speech is often unexpected.  SO many best men use the internet to get a speech, and I have been to some weddings where the Bestman hasn’t even read the speech himself before he has to deliver it.  In one case, his girlfriend had written it for him.  A chief bridesmaid would never be so lame!
9. Help the bride get ready to leave the reception, and make sure you have all her personal possessions safe, and deliver them back to her when she gets back home from her honeymoon.
10. Help the Mother of the Bride too.  Often they are so busy looking after things they forget to enjoy themselves, so share the jobs between you.
11. Enjoy it all, take mental notes of what works, and what doesn’t, so when it comes to planning your wedding – you will have it nailed!

Top Tips for being the perfect guest.

1. Always acknowledge your invitation (I am the worst offender for this one, it is really rude not to reply – just because you think you will see them or speak to them is no excuse, text messaging is a sorry excuse too  - sorry Ella)
2. Don’t get the strop if you don’t get invited to the ceremony or daytime reception. Enjoy the evening!
3. Don’t boycott a wedding because the people you think should have been invited haven’t been. It’s not up to you.    (In both cases be understanding that being a guest costs a lot of money, and the bride and groom don’t have limitless funds.  They have to choose carefully, and sometimes that means leaving people off the list of the daytime venue, but inviting them to the evening.  Don’t view it as an insult, be pleased you have been invited, and make sure you have a great time.  Guests are exactly that – invited guests, you wouldn’t throw a wobbler if you were invited to a dinner party but your second cousin wasn’t, so don’t treat a wedding any differently)
4. Remember you are a there because the bride and groom wanted you to be, so if you don’t want to go, don’t go just because you feel you should.   The bride and groom want people there who will help them celebrate, so if you really don’t want to go, then politely decline, using a water-tight excuse, giving the happy couple a chance to allocate your seats to someone else who would appreciate it.   Give them plenty of notice too.  Letting them know you have diareahea booked for that day won’t cut it  (that is our well worn excuse for most things).  And don’t lie too much(!)  I am going on holiday to Nepal that week, doesn’t mean much if you are spotted in Tesco’s the day before.  A simple, ‘thank you but I already have other commitments that day’ is fine.
5. Get to the church/reception  on time (again my failing)
6. Don’t do ‘rabbit ears’ behind the bride in the group photo’s.  She won’t thank you, & will find out it was you.
7. A wedding is not the time to bring up family feuds, fights or arguments.   I have been to weddings in the past where everyone is on tenterhooks waiting for the 1982 feud to develop into a full grown bloodbath.  It isn’t fair to anyone.  So if you know there is someone there you are going to want to punch, either avoid even speaking to them, or have a quiet word with the bride or groom to say that you feel it best you didn’t go as conflict may be unavoidable – and take them out for dinner after the honeymoon.  Most feuds are well known, so seating plans can be arranged to accommodate, but if there is a chance that blood will be spilt – don’t go. (If any of my family read this, I know, funerals aren’t the best time to chase someone through a carpark wielding an umbrella either  - but I never said I was perfect)
8. Have a great time – but don’t get so drunk you embarrass yourself and everyone around you.  A jolly drunk is one thing, but an aggressive drunk who pee’s in the chocolate fountain is quite another.  (I know who you are!)
9. Make sure you buy a decent present.  It doesn’t have to be expensive, it really is the thought that counts, but don’t inflict your tastes on the happy couple – they may not share your love of Eternal Beau china. If there isn’t a wedding list, ask them what they would like.
10. Enjoy yourself – be nice, be happy and be fabulous. (be grateful you are invited, times are hard, and your invite has cost the bride and groom money that they perhaps could ill afford, but they wanted to share the day/or evening with you, so enjoy it all)